On continual re-entry

I can't believe it's been so long since I last blogged. Much has happened, many times I've thought to write, but usually have done something else.. usually sleep or clean. ; )
It has been 22 months since we returned to the US. It has been an interesting time. There are days when I feel like I'm at home, then there are days when I feel like a stranger and an alien in a strange land. The main comfort I have is that I know that we are living where God wants us to be.
I have come to realize that I do NOT understand Americans. No offense. And yes, I am an American. I guess I'm just pretty simple. When I'm asked a question, I honestly answer it. I'm not used to a question really being a request. For example, the question, "Do we need to talk?" in my mind means, do we need to talk. But that's not the case, at least in my current situation. What it really means is "I need to talk with you." Now, the response would have been very different, I would have said, okay, sure, let's talk. Since I don't understand current American, I said no, instead of yes. So, I get to deal with a new round of "Loser Linda apologizes again". We'll see how it works out. But for me, I think I want to move to Tucson.. and the sooner, the better.
As Kelly said in his recent blog... just sayin'

The moving cloud

It's been a little over a year since our return, our permanent return, to the US from Slovakia. Much has transpired. It has not been all easy, but it has been the best. That doesn't mean it has always FELT like it's the best, but since I know that God is in control, then I also know that it is the best. God's plans for me are for my good, to give me a future and a hope.
I've been asked many times how we came to return at this time, how we knew that God was, indeed, bringing us back to live full-time in the US, specifically in Phoenix, AZ. I've had many answers, all make sense, but I had a revelation of sorts last week while walking Lani. I had come home from work and since Kelly had a busy few days, asked me to take her for her walk; to be honest, I was a semi-zombie.. the walking dead! I was talking with God and this thought popped into my mind; the Israelites "wandering" in the desert.
Okay, so what has Israel in the desert have to do with the Shattuck's moving from Slovakia? Well, it isn't the desert! Slovakia was anything but a desert. Beautiful, lush countryside. Phoenix, yep, this is a desert. But the desert isn't the key idea. It's the cloud. If you've read the story of the people of Israel in the desert for 40 years with Moses in the lead (and not because they were lost or Moses, as a man, wouldn't stop to ask for directions), then you know that the people would camp in a spot until it was time to leave. God was present with them, leading them, and protecting them; He was like a cloud during the day, a pillar of fire during the night. When the cloud or fire moved, then the people packed up and moved; when the cloud or fire stayed still, then people camped out. With over 2 million people, can you imagine the size of that cloud? How quickly did it move? I'm guessing, GUESSING, that it wasn't really fast, since people had to get ready and move. I bet that some people noticed it moving before some of the others did. In our case, God was like a cloud over us in Slovakia. About 2 years ago, maybe a little longer, I sensed that the cloud was starting to move, I sensed that God was leading us back to the US. Kelly didn't notice it. Why? Because it wasn't time for him to notice maybe. Who knows? But through lots of haggling and praying, Kelly too noticed that the cloud was moving. I jokingly think that he didn't move until the "sand" of the "desert" beneath his feet began to get too hot to stay still. God used many things, such as finances, and also people to convince both of us that we needed to return to the US.
For now, the cloud, well, in Arizona more like the fire, has settled and we are here, settling in, waiting on God. For now, He wants us to stay exactly where we are. A sign?? In this economy, we both have jobs. In our area, there are a lot of RN's who are out of work, but I have a job that I love. Kelly put in an application for only one organization, went through the hoops, and was hired a little more than a month ago. It would have been SO EASY and really make a lot of sense, for Kelly to have pursued some sort of ministry position. After all, he's really, really good at that. But again, the best. God did not want him to minister in that area but in the secular world, to be salt and light in the darkness, so to speak. He's now working for Apple. We've heard that only 1 in over 300 people who apply with Apple are hired. Kelly is one of them. And, he loves his job too!! God is good ; )
What does the future hold? Only God knows and so we are content to wait. Is it easy? Not all the time but He is faithful, He is trust-worthy, He is able. God lead us here. The cloud/fire is still.

On my job

I am an nurse. A registered nurse. I have current licenses for the states of California and Arizona. The great thing about the one from Arizona, is that I can practice in a number of other states with this one; it's a compact-state license. But that's not what I want to say.
I have a job! I am working for a pediatric home health care agency, and I love it! When I first heard about this agency, I was so excited; it was like a dream come true. After a phone interview, filling out an on-line application, taking a number of tests for them, and a second in-person interview, I was hired. Well, I also had to pass a drug screening test and another class, but I was hired. I started working on New Years' Eve.
I work at the home of a medically fragile child. After a week, I'm coming to love not only this child but the family as well. I work from 10 PM until 6 AM, Monday through Friday, which is really through Saturday morning. Last night, when I got to the house, I was talking with the Mom, getting report, when she gave me 3 pictures that the older sister had colored for me. She'd then written, 'The best nurse ever" and "pretty" on each picture. I am honored to be in this home, to see the love that they all have for my little patient, and for this little girl to consider me the best nurse ever. This is why I love home health care, not only do I get to interact and care for the same little person every day, but I get to, hopefully, impact the family as well.
Thank you, Lord, for my job!

On my Uncle Mike...

My favorite uncle, Mike Nemcik (Michal in the old country), died last week. He was always a very loving and kind man; a larger heart, you would be hard-pressed to find. He never married, never had kids, so he sort of treated my brothers and me like we were his kids. He did the same with my cousins in Pennsylvania. But we, fortunately, did not offend him as they had done, so we continued to be on his good side until the end. He did love them as well, but he is Slovak and they are like elephants; they never forget. But I digress..
A day or so after I started school (which I'll talk about in another posting.. later!) I learned that he was found severely dehydrated in his apartment, taken via ambulance to the hospital. Because of my class schedule, I was never able to get to Anaheim, about 7 hours away or so, to see him and say goodbye in person. I did get to talk with him on the phone, tell him that I loved him. He hung on for about 5 weeks, in which time he was diagnosed with liver cancer, which had metastasized from the colon. I guess you could say he is the poster child for getting that exam!
I wrote a short eulogy for his funeral, which I can't attend since it is being held in Cheswick, PA; he always said he wanted to be buried next to his beloved mother, Maria Nemcik. My Dad made sure that he got his final wish.
Here is what I wrote...
******************

As far back as I can remember, Uncle Mike has been a part of my life. I remember him coming up to see us almost every month. It was fun to come out to the living room on a Saturday morning, find him sleeping on the couch. We'd wake him up and he'd watch the Saturday morning cartoons with us, real cartoons, not like the digital ones they have now. He and Dad would make these bacon and onion things to eat, which I now know is a very Slovak thing to eat. I remember how all of our friends, both in Fair Oaks and San Jose, all considered him to be their uncle too, since he was more fun than all of their uncles, and he really seemed to like them and he remembered them too.
I remember going to see him almost every summer for family vacation, him taking us to Disneyland and to Huntington Beach or some other place.
When I got married, he just added Kelly into this circle of love, you could say. He just seemed to consider him one of his own.
Uncle Mike became Utco Mike when Candace was born, since she had 2 other Uncle Mikes. He made it to all the graduations, the weddings, and as many birthdays as he could, even when I lived in Washington.
When he came to visit our family when we moved to Slovakia, he heard us speaking Slovak and asked what we were speaking. "We're speaking SLovak, Utco Mike."
"No, Linda, that's not Slovak. That's Czech or Russian!" Then he spoke on the phone with his cousin, Anna. We barely understood a word he said! He hung up the phone and while pointing to the phone, he yelled, "Now that's Slovak!!"
When friends found out the Utco Mike had died, I got notes from all over the country and Slovakia, people who had met him only once, or had met him numerous times. I could list them, but we don't really have time. I did ask Kelly and our kids to tell me one of their favorite memories of their beloved Utco Mike. Here's what they said.
Kelly says, "Aside from hearing him say "Hi Ya!" he would always say, "Kelly, P-51, P-51." He got mad at me once when I paid for breakfast with him and he told me to never do that again. I thought I was going to be ex-communicated from the family."
Candace says "There are so many good memories of Utzo...I can't narrow them down to a specific one. I remember Utzo always coming in and saying "Hiya" and just bringing a smile to his face. I remember him always calling me his beautiful little girl and as I grew up changing it to his beautiful big girl, then beautiful young lady...but always saying that I'd always be his beautiful little girl. I remember getting the sweetest cards from him for every single holiday - I still have most of them. Whenever he would come to visit, he'd bring a HUGE bag of peppermints and Juicy Fruit gum. Those things always remind me of him. He would always stock the freezer with ice cream and popsicles, and the fridge with Pepsi. I remember Utzo tearing up at Hallmark commercials or sad parts in a movie and denying the tears, saying that he had something in his eyes. He always took care of his family. If someone needed something, he was always there. He was always there with a hug and a laugh. He was the most compassionate, loving, generous man I've ever known. I will miss him greatly, but I am so proud to say that he was dear Utzo Mike and I got 24 years with him!"
Caleb says, 'Utzo was always a happy, laughing guy. I remember how he'd always say "Hi ya!" whenever we saw him. He smelled of Budweiser and Listerine, which strangely enough, was not a bad combination."
Hannah says, "He used to call me moja shumna zlata, which he told me meant more precious than shimmering gold. He would always bring us the comics and even send them to us when we lived in Slovakia. He didn't want us to miss out on American comics, I guess. He'd watch movies with us, even if he didn't like the movie, just so he could spend time with us. He would always say "Hi ya!"
Nathan says, "He always called me malky hunsot, which means little rascal. He was always smiling."
There is so much more that can be said but I'll stop here. It is obvious to us that he loved us all very much and we loved him too. He is the standard by which all Uncles and Utcos are judged. We will always remember him and will pass on his love and what he was like to the next generation. We will miss him but are not without hope. We know that we'll see him again in heaven.. and maybe there, he'll speak the right Slovak ; )
*****
I love you, Uncle Mike! I miss you and know I'll continue to for years to come, but this I know, we will be together again!

On being a trapeze artist..

"She flies through the air with the greatest of ease, that daring young gal on the flying trapeze..." I know, that's not how the song really goes, but since I am like one on the trapeze, I decided to change it up a bit. At this present moment in time, Kelly, Nathan, Lani (our Labrador) and I are preparing for a big move. A huge move.. On May 31, we will say good-bye to our home, our friends, our life in Slovakia. We don't know when, or even if, we will return to live here. At this point, it looks like our move to the US will be for longer than 2 years.

It is not an easy thing to do, to leave all that we've known and done for almost 13 years. We've studied to learn the language, the culture, have been blessed beyond belief in ministry and with friendships, and now... God is telling us to leave. It's not a feeling unlike what Abraham must have felt, when God told him to pack everything up and leave, but he was going to a land he didn't know. We are returning to a land that we knew. But much has changed, for better or worse, in the US over the years.

I am really excited about going back. I plan to take a refresher course and go back to work as an RN. It's rather comforting to hear that there is a shortage of nurses, so I should be able to find a good job. It will be good to be near the "kids" again, and to be a bigger part of their lives, as well as to see the rest of our family and "old" friends. I am really looking forward to reconnecting.

I am really sad, too, about going back. I was looking at some video and pictures from camps and events in years gone by, and started to cry. I am going to miss my Slovaks. Nela, the first real Slovak friend that I made here. In a very un-Slovak way, she opened her life to me in less than 5 years! I know some things that some of her other friends never will. Petra, another Slovak woman who just wanted to spend time with me and ask any sort of question. Ingela, another missionary with sons, who has become such a dear friend and encourager. (She's not Slovak, but this is where we met, so...) Other women at the church, who consider me to be one of them, although that took a bit more time. All the BIg House gang..

But God...

When God makes it clear that I am to do something, the smart thing is to do it. It's not always the easy thing; it's not always a fun thing, but it IS always the right and best thing.

Laura Beth, a friend of mine in AZ with whom I'm really looking forward to spending more time, mentioned something about how we "must be feeling" and I like her illustration. She said we are like trapeze artist, being asked to let go of the rung without the other one yet in hand, nor seemingly near.

I do feel that way. But, I guess I"m more of a monkey bars sort of person, having my hand on the next sure thing before letting go. But I/we have such amazing peace in this.

It makes no sense! There is still such a need in Slovakia. "Things" are taking off. I finally feel like I understand and can use the language at more than an elementary school level.

But God...

It's still scary to let go of this rung, but I have to believe, trust, have faith. I KNOW that God has the next one right where we need it, when we need it. So for now, I'm flying through the air, fully extended, no net, expecting the rung....

Feel free to remind me of this ; )

On the lost art of listening

Yesterday, June 29, 2008, we had a Big House meeting for the upcoming camp. Although it was a required meeting, 3 of our workers didn't show. 2 are in a band and they had a concert or whatever that day in a different city (our meeting was in Zavadka nad Hronom, where the Baldis', Martin and Eli, as well as their workers for camp live.). The other one found out the day before that her family would be traveling and she couldn't make it. Too bad; Kelly had some wonderful things to share about being a servant. I think that has been one of his heart's cries since I've known him; to be a servant. Like the older Christian "contemporary"song says, "If you want to be great in God's kingdom, learn to be a servant of all." There is another meeting for our part of the team next Monday; they all must show for that one, or else!
While at the meeting yesterday, I was struck anew with how... rude some of "our" students can be. We make all sorts of excuses, too. "Oh, she's a newer believer," or "She's an only child," or "They don't see each other so often." as if those are valid reasons for people talking while someone else has the floor. Last week, one of the guys (who was missing yesterday) couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut and comments to himself. I did get on his case a bit, but he needs to be brought down a notch or two, in my opinion. Seems that with his band, which is a Christian band, getting more popular, he's getting a bit of a prideful attitude, like he doesn't need to pay attention; he doesn't need to listen. The gal who wasn't listening yesterday is one of those who cuts off people as they are answering her questions, waving her hand as if she knows what is about to be said. She was asserting a certain idea, but it wasn't until Eli, who could be a bit more forceful in her language, emphasised one point that this gal finally understood. She asked, "Why didn't anyone tell me this?" To which we all, in shock, asked each other, "Are you kidding me? We've been saying this from day one!" Listen.
I fear that too many people, when they are "listening" are so busy formulating what they will say next that they don't really listen. They hear the words coming out of the speaker's mouth, but they aren't comprehending them; they aren't listening. I remember back when I was in college, one of our exercises was in active listening; hearing what someone was saying, asking questions to clairfy, and not thinking about a response or rebuttal; just listening to them.
I know that I am not perfect in this area. I do think, however, that I am a good listener. Maybe it is because I need to listen so closely when someone is speaking to me in Slovak, so that I understand. I hope that by the end of camp, that our student-workers have a better understanding of listening, and are better able to practice it.
Have you listened today? To whom or to what? Listen, it's a good thing to do!
And those are my thoughts on that!

Of Slovak weddings...

Yesterday, June 21, Kelly, Nathan and I.. and a bunch of other people.. attended the wedding of Eli and Martin. Let me tell you, this has been one of those "stories" of which Samwise may have spoken! Their romance was a perfect picture of waiting.. and waiting.. and waiting. When Eli arrived in Banska Bystrica for college about 5 years ago, the guys in the M+ youth group went ga ga over her. She is petitie, very cute, has an electric smile and a voice that takes you to heaven when she sings. She was also on a "man fast"; she wasn't going to date anyone, ANYONE, for 2 years. When that becamse puplic knowledge, which took all of 1 day given the rapid transmission of such information, the guys backed off, and started to count the days. It's funny how many knew when that fast ended! When it did, Martin, who'd been admiring Eli for months, if not years, sort of got in line. He did ask her out,only to find out that one of his friends, Tomas, had already asked her out, but that she'd extended her fast... and didn't let anyone know the expiration date! Martin waited. He'd told Kelly that God had told him that Eli was the woman he was going to marry. Kelly just smiled and wondered, 'How do I talk to him about that one!?" They finally started dating, not before she refused him more than once (to go out with him, that is) but his persistence, patience and kindness, not to mention his maturing character, won her over. Sweet love story. Then they got engaged... 2 YEARS AGO!! They've waited for both of them to graduate to marry. That was a wise decision, but I'd NEVER counsel someone to be engaged for 2 years. Know that you'll get married, then get engaged say, oh, 6-9 months before the planned wedding date. 2 years!!
Kelly and I did the premarital counseling, which was fun and very eye opening. In the US, the woman goes to "THE" doctor a few months before the wedding, not just to get some contraceptive item, but to make sure that everything is fine. Not so here. I was so shocked!! As a nurse, I was a litle concerned with one of our conversations,her seeming cluelessness (and she is 24 years old) and had to pull out one of my nursing books to explain some stuff. That's when the Slovak-English dictionary, a Slovnik, sure came in handy! I don't use some of those words on a daily basis, after all ; ) But all in all, they seem to be as prepared as any couple can be.
Back to the wedding. It was a very nice "sobas" which is the ceremony. Then, we went to the reception, which was nice as well, and it had an ending time! The last one we atended was for Milan and Jana in May and when we left at 11:30 PM and the party was just getting started. But Martin and Eli wanted to have an early evening. Here is where it gets rather weird, from my American viewpoint. They both were ready to leave; they were getting tired, it had been a long day, Kelly and I, as a gift, paid for a night at a really nice place to where they wanted to go now, but they couldn't leave. The tradiation here, where the wedding is way too much for the parents of the bridal couple than for the newlyweds themselves, they couldn't leave until the offical host of the reception left, who happened to be an elder aunt of Eli's. When I found that out, know what my response was? "You've got to be kidding me!" No wonder some virigin couples wait until the next night to consumate their marriage; they're so wiped out waiting for some old person to leave.
The lesson here? As a parent whose gorgeous oldest daughter is soon to wed, BUTT OUT!! Let them plan the wedding, since it is THEIR WEDDING, not mine. It is their day, not mine. It is the beginning of their new life together, not mine. I am so thankful that my parents, for the most part, let us plan our wedding. There are 2 more weddings in the next month, so we'll see how those go!
And those are this Mom's thought on that! ; )